What is Right? What is wrong?

What is Right? What is wrong? This seem like a very easy question. But when you ask 10 people this question, you will get 10 diffenrent long lists. You may surprise to find that some of the items in one person's "right" list may be appear in another person's "wrong" list.

We always judge "rigth" or wrong" by action, but the problem is an action may be "right' in this time, at this place, to this particular being, but it may be "wrong" in another time, place and another person. This always make us confuse. Few weeks back, when i chit chat with my brother in law, he told me somebody told him, nothing wrong with robbing and stealing, cos the robbers and thieft need to survive. This make him confuse, at one hand he know that the "actions" (rob and steal) is wrong, but what the guy say also have a point.

Guys and gals, if you were me, what will you say? and may I know what is your "right" and "wrong"? care to share?

My New working place

For those who haven't been my new office, this photos are for you.

The entrance.

What you will see when you turn left.

Studio / Library /Meeting Room


Here is where I sit.

A small but cosy office :)

Moody Sunday

Don't know why today feel very "pik chik". May be not enough sleep? May be wake up late?? May be a lot of thing not done or doing half way??? Hai may be PMS!!!!!

You might wonder how come i put up this photo. This 荷叶饭 is what me and Joan can't finish during our lunch. Just now about 4PM I reheat it, and u know what? I TOTALLY FORGOT about it until 6.45PM then I realise. Lucky my wok is tough enough, if not i might need to call the Civil Defend liao :P

My wok and the 荷叶all turn black :( Hehehe but oh..... the rice is very nice :P..... hmmmmm I think next time the 荷叶饭 we can use bake instead of steam.

This umbrella "lagi" interesting. I left it at the starbuck in vivo city 2 months ago (Jan). Yesterday when me, Joan ,Michelle and NK pass by the starbuck. Michelle suggest go and ask them whether they still keep it or not.... guess what..... hahahaha they really keep it for me. When Joan go and ask one of the stuff, she immediately know..... just say... "wait for a while!" then she go and take it out.... they must be see it every day during this two month... hahahaha... Thanks all the staff in that Starbuck, thanks guys!!

ABCD Part2

Well done Joan and MK! Joan you get the main point of it, but as you know the "Ang Mo" they always know how to name it. MK, you get half of it, good try. The answer is "Beliefs". Under beliefs not only irrational belief and there have rational beliefs as well. Why is beliefs and not expectation? According to this guys, Albert Ellis, "belief's" included a person's attitudes, expectations and personal rules.


Ok, then what is rational beliefs and what is irrational belief? Just a simple question, if some one say: " I must have my dinner 7pm tonight." Do you think this is rational or irrational? The answer is irrational. Why? The problem is the word "MUST". Who can be so sure that we can have our dinner in a exact time or place? There are so many unforeseen things around, like traffic or when you want to have you dinner and somebody come and visit you..... This is just a small issue in our life, how about if you say "I must earn my 1st million before 45 years old." This sound familiar right? What happen is we can do it? We will feel sad, disappointed etc... all kind of negative emotion will come up. So if that is the case, is that mean that we better don't have any goal in our life?

No, have a goal or target to achieve is very important. The only thing we need to do is change our irrational thinking to rational thinking. Say it or think it in a preference way. For example, we can just say "I will like to have my dinner 7pm tonight if i can." "I will try my best to earn my 1st million before 45." What do you think? Doesn't this sound much unstress?

Of cause we need to work hard to achieve some thing, but how is the result turn out, we need to accept it at a right/positive attitude. I like a chinese saying 只问耕耘，不问收获. Just work hard and the rewards will come by its own.

The ABCD I am sharing here actually is a councilling approach name RATIONAL- EMOTIVE & COGNITIVE- BEHAVIOR THERAPY. For those who are interested can visit this website http://www.rebt.org/ to read more about it. :)

ABCD

Just learn a woderful theory this monday. We call this "ABC" theory. I fully agree with this theory, I don't know what you guys think? Ok let me explain a bit on this. A = Activating Event and C = Consequences (Feeling & Behaviour). Most of the people will think certain events happen sure will lead to certain consequences. For example, normally when we very angry with some things, we will say "If this this this not happen in this way.... I will not be so angry."

In this cast we are assuming the stiuation we meet it will "DEFINITELY" make people angry. But is that so? Most of the time when we talk to others, we get many different reaction. Some may be more angry then us, some may say "chea.... what get so angry? is nothing what.." Why have so many different reaction? Where is the missing link? The answer is "B"


Want to know what is "B"?? Look out for my next post. Or if you know or want to guess, you are most welcome to leave you comment here.

Who is more lucky?

Found this photo I took before Chinese New Year when sorting my photos. One day when i wat at Chinatown, I saw a young guy keep on follow this old lady and took a lot of photos. So I decide to take down this scene. In my mind, I think "what a poor old lady, working so hard just for a living and need to bear with all this curious staring and their camera sometime." (Later I saw the guy give the old lady some money, so I won't put him up here)

During the Chinese New Year holiday, me and joan went back to KL. we visited my mother in law. Her full time "job" is take care of her parent, our "gong2 & poh2". Gong2 is 90+ and poh2 is almost 90 years old. Like many old people, they start to lose some of their ability. Especial their memory, gong2 even can't remember his son's name. I can see the frustrated on his face.

Look at the photo of the old lady, and think of gong2 and poh2. Who is more lucky? This old lady may no have any body take care of her, but she can take care of herself, may be she feel good even need to work hard. Gong2 & poh2 although have someone to take care of them, but can tell that they are happy. They feel frustrated that why they need some one to take care, why they can't do things by thier own.....

After think over, I feel that all three of them are lucky. :) What do you think?